New Beginings

I used to have my own special tradition on new year's eve, of course i watch home alone the first or the second part with my sisters, dun like the third, i hate that new kid, i watch that movie every year, and i never get bored, i laugh and cry as if it's the first time for me to watch it. i keep my very precious possessions in boxes, i don't open them a lot, i just keep adding stuff there without looking at the old ones, except of course on a bad day, when i need to be reminded of some memories. When i was young i used to link every place to a certain smell, and even people, my KG class used to have a certain smell, i still remember it , i feel it when i meet my friends that used to go to school with me, even though 15 years have passed. Everything in my boxes smells like the old days. i keep in it my certificates, medals, photos, cinema and opera tickets, cards i used to receive from my cousin and sisters on special occasions, i have a paper that my dad wrote for me on my 16th birthday, " happy birthday Sarah, sweet 16", with colors and glitters and everything, i woke up and found it hung on my bedroom's door that day. Before the clock strikes midnight, i get a pen and a paper, and write .. how i see myself in the new year, i make a list of the things i need to change, my hopes, aspirations,.. my resolutions, every year i promise my self a new beginning, and put the paper in the box, along with he cards and photos that keeps some memories alive, i have a paper for each year. At midnight i go out to the balcony and watch the fireworks and the glass people throw from their windows, i feel so lucky when it rains.. it gives me hope. I haven't done all that for three years, that was the fourth, i can't really feel the spirit of the new year, and i can't promise myself a new beginning, not now anyway. a friend of mine asked me when are we going to feel that a new year has come.. i told her when we let it.. I'm still living in 2006.